Yesterday started off well. But as the day went on, this feeling of "doom" started to grow in the pit of my stomach. And by the end of it, I had this overwhelming feeling that something was wrong. Something somewhere was very, very wrong. Or that something bad was going to happen. I paced around... Continue Reading →
Forever a fight I will climb
Today has been a fight. The tears are right there, have been all day...but I keep blinking them away. Hoping they don't fall because I can tell if they start they won't stop. I did everything to be productive today...cleaned part of my room, worked on homework and created study notes for my upcoming exams.... Continue Reading →
A full heart & an anxious mind
I've always been one to feel A LOT. Overwhelming emotions flood my heart and soul and usually come streaming down my face. For years, I blocked my heart off and wouldn't let anyone in. I had my close friends and family and they were all I needed. Life has handed me more than a few... Continue Reading →
When I can’t sleep, I write
Here I am...it is 1:03 a.m. and I'm wide awake. So I found myself opening my laptop to write. Writing has become such an escape for me. A place I can go no matter what is going on in my life. It's ironic because in elementary school I hated writing, like had to do extra... Continue Reading →
My life right now…
My life right now... 5 pills in the AM 2 pills around noon 1 pill in the late afternoon/evening 2 pills at bedtime My backpack is kind of like a pharmacy right now. You can hear my meds jingle as I walk up and down the stairs going to class. I've been on this new... Continue Reading →
Love, tears & an anxious heart
Friday evening, there I was, sitting in a busy restaurant in downtown Toronto. A couple of hours away from seeing one of my all time favourite performers. I was hoping with everything I had that the feeling in the pit of my stomach would go away. That the thoughts would slow down. But before I knew... Continue Reading →
What my anxiety looks like…
It's been a while...and for that I am sorry. Anxiety and it's nagging, annoying voice has been kicking my ass. The month of February was kind of a blur. I had more downs than ups. A psychiatrist appointment and another medication dosage increase. I thought that increase was working...until last week when I couldn't leave... Continue Reading →
Being honest about my illness
I tossed and turned most of the night and I finally gave up on sleep around 4:30 a.m. There is just too much anxiety running through my body, I can feel it in my chest, and in my legs. My hands are shaking as I type this and I'm trying to blink away my tears.... Continue Reading →
Choosing to put myself first
I realized the other day, how much I have grown and how far I have come. How quickly I can identify my feelings and know when I need some peace and quiet. I know when I need extra time, more love, a good cry, a power nap or sappy country music. It hasn't always been... Continue Reading →
Looking back at 2018
2018...you beautiful, difficult, heart breaking and loving year. It's been real. A year full of triumphs, success, heartache and loss too. This time last year I said 2018 was going to be my year, and I truly believe it was. This past year I pushed myself to go out of my comfort zone...quit my job... Continue Reading →
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