I know it has been awhile but trying to gather my thoughts and writing them down has been a bit of a mess. Dealing with SO many new emotions, it has been hard for me. My own general anxiety that I have lived with for years, can be debilitating. But I never imagined I’d be living with that AND anxiety about COVID-19. I’m doing my best to stay informed while keeping my distance from social media and the news. There is so much going on right now in the world that taking care of myself is the most important thing. Lexi is very happy to have the family home. And I have created a new habit that she has caught onto quickly…she knows when I get changed out of my pajamas that means we are going for a walk. I don’t know what I’d do right now without her. She keeps me sane and is currently sleeping on my feet as I type this.
I’m a planner, I like schedules and routines. With this extra anxiety, the uncertainty of what is coming has me still trying to plan for the future and all the “what ifs”. Which is almost impossible. I’m struggling and I’m okay with admitting that. I’m struggling but I’m safe. I have to remind myself about the things that I CAN control. I don’t like change…and have a hard time dealing with it. But the world has forced me to deal with a lot of change so far in 2020. I’m trying to get used to the new “normal”. As someone who has lived with anxiety that has left it impossible for me to leave the house before, I’m not having a huge problem with staying home. I’m struggling with not volunteering and seeing the players I coach and do respite with. All I can say is thank god for facetime and technology.
All of this daily usual anxiety and then the extra anxiety leaves me pretty exhausted by the end of each day. I know everyone is dealing with a lot right now, some are dealing with anxiety they’ve never felt before. Just know you’re not alone (even though we are practicing social distancing).
Other people get it.
Support each other.
Be kind to yourself.
Stay safe and healthy.