More Than My Illness

February…I hope you are better than January. In January I struggled a lot. My anxiety was a lot, it was intense, it was heavy. I felt like I was walking through thick mud, that every step I tried to take was difficult…a struggle. The anxiety I was dealing with was at times so intense that... Continue Reading →

The Rebuild – part 1

Here I am. It is Saturday night. My phone is quiet, I’m watching the Toronto Raptors play the Golden State Warriors on TV and listening to music. My parents have to listen to me typing, singing and yelling at the TV. But this is nothing new. This is one of my happy places.                 It... Continue Reading →

More Than One Battle

Where doing I start? It's been too long since I sat down and just wrote. There are so many things I want to tell, but some things I'm not ready to share. This past year has been one like no other. My Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last September. A fight against cancer is... Continue Reading →

A little bit of hope

Living with mental illness has taught me a lot. Some good and some not so good. I have come to the sad realization that my depression can trick me into thinking that I am unlovable. That I am not worthy of being loved by myself or others. My very own nightmare. (I do realize that... Continue Reading →

Acceptance & Understanding

I sit here, tears rolling down my cheeks, dripping onto my black t-shirt. The screen is blurry as I type and wipe away the tears. I have been living with different levels of anxiety and depression for 11 years. That is 4,015 days. I could tell you stories about being forgotten about, hurdles I have... Continue Reading →

The day I dream of

I’m overwhelmed and yet underwhelmed at the same time. I have a sense of clarity and yet feel like I’m in a fog. I feel lost and yet I know where I am. My heart aches yet it is so full of love. I feel lonely but I am not alone. I’m tired but I... Continue Reading →

Trying to push my anxiety aside

I woke up from a nap yesterday afternoon, I could feel my heart racing. Thump, thump, thump, it seemed so loud. Sure enough, looked at my Fitbit, my heart rate was high, and I was trembling. I HATE it when this happens. When a potential anxiety attack wakes me up. My Mom came and hugged... Continue Reading →

4 doors

Picture this with me if you can. You’ve come to the end of a hallway and in front of you are 4 doors. These 4 doors all have signs on them. The first one reads “Welcome, we are happy you are here” The second one reads “You know exactly what is behind this door all... Continue Reading →

More than just a diagnosis

I live with an invisible illness. It is all in my head…literally. From personal experience I consider it to be an invisible illness in more than one way though. Firstly, you obviously can’t see it and secondly, people/society don’t like talking about it. It can be kept hidden. It’s like this secret that everyone actually... Continue Reading →

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