I wish my mental illness was visible

Today, I wish all of my anxiety was visible. I wish that everyone could see it. I wish I had a little speech bubble above my head, giving a running commentary of the thoughts going through my mind. How fast they go, how many times I tell myself the same thing, how I ignore them, how I fight them, how they win and how tiring they are. I wish it was all visible. 

Days like today, I feel as though my anxiety is so high and so intense that you should be able to see it seeping out of my pores. That’s how much it consumes me. I feel it with every breath… 

I sit here, typing away and my eyes are full of tears. My hands are shaking and my palms are sweaty. These are the actual visible parts of my anxiety. 

I wish that I could show every part of what I go through…every single brutal, annoying and debilitating part. But I can’t… however I can talk about it. And I will never stop talking about it. If it was visible, more people would be understanding and accepting. More people would talk about what it’s like to live with. People tend not to believe in something they can’t see. 

For now, I’ll take care of myself as best I can, and wait for it to pass. 

Tomorrow is a new day.