The girl I thought I lost

I’ve been wanting to blog but simply couldn’t get the words in my head to make sense on here. I promise to write more.

Last week I saw my psychiatrist for the first time in 6 months. It was a beautiful sunny day, which I thought was rather fitting. I’ve been seeing my psychiatrist for almost a year now…and what a year it has been!

I remember my first appointment like it was yesterday.  “So Hilary, how are you?”… it was the question I had been waiting for. Annddd….the tears started falling. At this point, I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel, even though I couldn’t quite see it yet. After medication trials; side effects; and withdrawal…we finally got it right! He suggested CBT and it rocked my world. My psychiatrist was genuinely excited and happy to see how well I’m doing. That girl I thought I had lost…I found her again.

FLASH FORWARD

June 2018…I have made some of my dreams a reality. (insert happy dance) I’m going to university this fall, I’m excited for my summer job and this blog! Not only have I completed some of my dreams/goals but I have more. Of course, I still have some rough days. I wish I could say that I’m cured and my life is all sunshine and rainbows now. I still struggle with my anxiety. It can be an enormous pain in my ass but my toolbox is so full of ways to cope and deal with it now. I can face it and work through it. I’m more aware of my limits and how to speak up for myself without feeling guilty. The month of June has brought me a lot of good days. Days that I spent most of my time smiling and feeling good. Days spent with good people who understand me. Doing things that I enjoy and want to do. My weekends have been busy and I find myself completely exhausted by Sunday night/Monday morning. But that’s okay, because it’s a good kind of exhausted. The kind from staying up late, dancing and socializing, going to a Blue Jays game, volunteering and living my life. 

This summer is jam-packed. 

But I’m excited for it…and ready for it. 

Hard work pays off…don’t give up even when you feel like you can’t go on. Keep fighting, progress is still progress…no matter how small it may seem.