I lost myself.
Almost completely.
I was lost, in this darkness, with no map or compass to help guide me through. No light for me to follow. Everything I thought I knew, I questioned. I second guessed myself.
Doubt was created by others, and it was repeated to me so many times that I started to believe it.
I was broken. Shattered. Gutted.
The depression was gaining more ground. It was building yet tearing me down. And it felt like I couldn’t break free from it’s grasp on me. Everything I thought I wanted, had changed.
I didn’t realize how much what I was going through was impacting ALL aspects of my life. Not for months…until one day I looked in the mirror and I was shocked at the reflection looking back at me. It broke me. Is this what I looked like to other people? Exhausted, dark circles under my eyes, lost and confused. No passion in my eyes, no excitement. I was just going through the motions, a shell of a human. Looking to find herself again…
6 months later and the fight to get back on track is still going. I wish I could tell you that I am 100% recovered and living my best life. But I am still recovering and I am okay with that. I am okay with it because I know that I am doing what I need to do at my pace. And I am not doing it for anyone else. I am not trying to fit into the cookie cutter mold that I wasn’t made for. I am still trying to heal the pieces that felt broken. To do what makes me happy. To be able to say “no” and not feel bad for saying it. I am fighting every day to become me.
There’s so much more to tell. So much more for me to share. But you’ll have to be patient with me, as I embark on this road to healing, recovery and peace.
The fight is never over. My fight is never over.
More to come soon.
h.
Conquering Mind Madness 
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