It’s been awhile…life has been eventful and hectic. I think everything is finally catching up to me and I’m starting to panic. Last week, I struggled a lot. Every night after work, I had somewhere to be. I had something to do. Even thinking about it now, makes me tired.
My anxiety beat me once last week. Every deep dark insecurity, I’ve ever had came out. The thoughts kept coming and my hands were shaking and then the tears fell. I’m desperately trying to believe in myself and put myself first but after dealing with negative thoughts for so long, it can be quite the battle.
I finally have my medications figured out and going through CBT has been a blessing. I’m feeling so good mentally… it’s the physical part I’m now struggling with. Weight gain is a side effect of one of my medications and I’ve definitely put on some weight. I want to feel good about my body again. I want to fit into my favourite pair of jeans again.
So of course… now I’m over thinking it and desperately trying to believe in myself. I hate the winter. I’m over the darkness and snow and the cold.
I’m going to start getting up earlier so I can do some yoga in the morning before work. But my brain is telling me it won’t be enough.
I guess all I can do is try…right?
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