There is a certain type of power that comes with getting quiet. I have been trying to be more intentional instead of busy lately. I sit here, in my room, surrounded by pillows, underneath my favourite Toronto Blue Jays blanket, and sipping on a cup of tea, ready to write and share. Here is what has been in my heart and on my mind…
The Power of the “No”
I am realizing that I don’t owe my time or energy to anyone who treats it like a revolving door. There is a difference between being “too busy” and simply being unavailable for things that don’t add value to my life. Over the past couple of weeks, a guy I was talking to during the spring and summer months, would randomly message me. And it became very apparent that he wasn’t “just checking in”, he didn’t actually care how my day was going. Or how my mental health has been… he wanted something. I finally decided to cut it off. I responded to his message with a simple but direct message… it wasn’t going to happen, I wished him the best and he should look elsewhere for what he says he wants. It was a powerful, freeing feeling. I have been working on saying “no” and not feeling like I need to explain myself or my reasoning. This happened just the other day, someone asked if I was “okay?” my response was simple… “no”. If they wanted to they could have asked more questions but they didn’t. That was enough for me, I didn’t need anything else.
Finding the Stillness
The world we live in today feels like it constantly asks us to be “on”. It’s like we are expected to reply instantly, post the “amazing”, super positive, glamorous things that are happening, be active and accessible via social media. That IS exhausting. I’ve been practicing the art of stepping back. I’m not hiding; I am protecting parts of me that don’t need to be available to everyone. I’ve been enjoying doing things that don’t need a status update, a story or post.
My “Currently” List
- Reading – The second book in a viral tiktok series
- Learning – That a boundary isn’t a wall; it is a gate. And I get to decide who has the key.
- Enjoying – The simple, unhurried rituals. Rediscovering the love for an old song, the sound of rain on the roof…
- Letting Go of – The need to explain myself. If it’s not a “yes” it’s a “no”, and that’s enough.
A Final Thought
I have been feeling big emotions lately, and it has been exhausting. There are days where I feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Or that whatever I am doing is not good enough. I struggle during the winter months, when staying inside is much easier. My anxiety has been intense while dealing with some unknowns and facing fears. But I also know that you don’t have to be productive every second of the day. Sometimes the most “productive” thing you can do is sit in the silence and figure out what you actually want.
Check in on your friends and loved ones.
Be kind.
Ask for help if you need it.
Take it one day at a time.
h.
Conquering Mind Madness 
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