I have been fighting with myself about if I was going to write this or not. If you are reading this that means I wrote it and shared it. First, I want to say that I will be talking about a serious mental breakdown and self-harm. If you find either of those triggering, please stop... Continue Reading →
The Consistent Struggle
I’ve learned over the years that for me to be at my best, to deal with my anxiety in the best way possible, I need consistency. Yes, I know that I can’t have consistency 100% of the time, because life is well life. And anything can change at any moment in time. COVID has forced... Continue Reading →
Answering That Daunting Question
It is a sunny but chilly Sunday. The hope for Spring is in the air, the birds are chirping, and the sky is a wonderful shade of blue. In September 2020, my Mom found a lump in her breast. Life as my family knew it was turned upside down. It was breast cancer. Shit… I... Continue Reading →
A broken heart.
This is about a broken heart. One that has been broken far too many times. It’s the kind of broken that has you slide down a wall, in complete shock and awe. Now you are on the floor, and this noise is coming out of you that you have never heard before. But you must... Continue Reading →
Acceptance & Understanding
I sit here, tears rolling down my cheeks, dripping onto my black t-shirt. The screen is blurry as I type and wipe away the tears. I have been living with different levels of anxiety and depression for 11 years. That is 4,015 days. I could tell you stories about being forgotten about, hurdles I have... Continue Reading →
The day I dream of
I’m overwhelmed and yet underwhelmed at the same time. I have a sense of clarity and yet feel like I’m in a fog. I feel lost and yet I know where I am. My heart aches yet it is so full of love. I feel lonely but I am not alone. I’m tired but I... Continue Reading →
Trying to push my anxiety aside
I woke up from a nap yesterday afternoon, I could feel my heart racing. Thump, thump, thump, it seemed so loud. Sure enough, looked at my Fitbit, my heart rate was high, and I was trembling. I HATE it when this happens. When a potential anxiety attack wakes me up. My Mom came and hugged... Continue Reading →
What “I don’t feel well” really means
I am struggling, living in this pandemic world, that is now our new normal. I have been struggling over the past 4 months trying to juggle school, my mental health, other health concerns, and pandemic life. It has been hard. And I think it is only going to be harder from this point on. The... Continue Reading →
4 doors
Picture this with me if you can. You’ve come to the end of a hallway and in front of you are 4 doors. These 4 doors all have signs on them. The first one reads “Welcome, we are happy you are here” The second one reads “You know exactly what is behind this door all... Continue Reading →
More than just a diagnosis
I live with an invisible illness. It is all in my head…literally. From personal experience I consider it to be an invisible illness in more than one way though. Firstly, you obviously can’t see it and secondly, people/society don’t like talking about it. It can be kept hidden. It’s like this secret that everyone actually... Continue Reading →
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